:: i TOTALLY regret The promise ::


okay . next thing on my to-buy list :adidas sports bra . make it 7
hEh hEh . bought leeanne and steph's prez alrdy . it's WOAH big . hAHA . finally inbox is cleared . well ya . i'm glad most of you guys did well . and those slackers who didn't , pls don't be sad just get on with life k ?

sorry tina . so , did u still go to the honey hiphop dance comp ? how was it ? it sounds fun .

recap : woke up at 11+ . eat . went back to slp till lin lao shi woke me up for tuition . succumbed to temptation and switched on hp . replied 2 msgs ONLY . hAHA . i didn't choose . then off-ed it again . then abt 4pm-ish momma say go buy prez . i wanted to go furthur but she say imm so imm lo . went gm's house first then went imm . after shopping , went jln lorong kilat (or wotever the add is) to fetch my bro . he had a party . then went cold storage and strudel house . yummy apple strudel ! then came home . tuition AGAIN . a-maths CT on mon . *grinX*

leeanne's place tmr . *yAy* hAHA . undecided abt trg tmr . not sure if can wake up .

true case of 'roll eyes'

.: act in conformity of your principles :.

my grandma at my house . she had a tiff with my uncle and came here to stay . many restrictions from now on . but she's asleep now . so can't be bothered but she gave me 10 bucks when she saw me . hAHA . i know i shouldn't be saying this but it's the only good thing about her . yes . i know . i'm unfillial . oh . and i passed my a-maths test . got 21/35 . some applause please . hAHA . i can't read msgs till tmr's 8pm . super sorry . and i hope you all did well . my bro didn't fail . he got 28 or so marks . el b3 the rest c6 . pathetic right ? hA . he had it coming . think he going poly . have to buy leeanne and steph's presents tml . maybe i'll go buy it alone . can't risk contacting u all . sorry .

potluck today . lotsa food . training was super intense . muscles aching . reached club at about 7pm-ish . everyone was alrdy in the pool . we were the last to arrive . ate talk laugh . parents talk about their kids the food and o lvls and all the whatnot crap they always talk about .

Lately i'm such a goody two shoes
that it disgusts me
it's a show .
a facade .
of guai-ness
wish i didn't have to do well/study hard
this is depressing
but i don't want to be a failure in life
this is my chance to shine
to prove my mark
to be on the top of the world
i will not fail


i hate my homeland . concentrates too much on study study study . and no play play play . haven't they heard that all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy ?
they're restricting our creative juices because if allowed to flow , the juices will swarm over them . drowning them . smothering them . killing them . they want to retain control over us and mold us into an exact model of themselves . hiding our absolutely vivacious unique personalities . making boring models of themselves ubiquitous, found in every nook and cranny of this island .

this the reason why i'd rather study abroad . i feel my talents going to waste , my creativity stifled .

.: 2 more days :.

hAHA . went gym today . some person was staring . but wasn't wearing specs so couldn't see real well . only when the person was at the water dispenser then saw him . thought he looked v familiar . then he left before i could see more . i can remember him now though i don't want to (this was added as an afterthought) i really remember who he is .

yay . 2 more day . well not exactly . 21 more hours . i think . hAHA . well . getting back maths paper tomorrow . sec 4s also getting back their Os . well . theirs more impt lo . LOL . well , good luck to all of u ! hope u all fail ! hAHA . okyx . nt really la . those whom are good to me and i like u will pass ! people like my bro will get 50 points ! :P hmm . well actually i'm lying . well , just hope he gets into poly or his life is ruined . hey 17-yr-olds , pls do well k ? do me proud . tell me your results immediately ! it will be at 230 right ?

hmm . got to remember to buy steph and leeanne prezzies . remind me k ?

and lastly , THANKS CASS . you're my saviour .

.: sinking into self-despair :.

go away . mayhaps this will help . disgusted at how guai i am . lately . SADDENING . but a promise is a promise . what can i say/do ? if i could turn back time , i wish :
- i never made the promise
- i had never known you
- i had stayed in church

but i can't . this is life . you've got to stick with what you chose . and i chose the wrong path . can't turn back . only able to run ahead . outrun all problems . hopefully . well . this is it .

STUCK

.: hit by a DOUBLE WHAMMY :. <-- true

erm . cass ang ! contact me asap !

hit by a double whammy . so true . i need help . don't desert me . got ss test tomorrow . no mood to study . i can only pray . i hate this . myself included . it's all **** fault . i can't name names . this is so frustrating . leave me alone .

teachers = trou du cul . hAHA .

.: you are so passe :.

did some cliches today . hAHA . super funny . cliches are so passe . get it ?
yest's ac carnival was damn funny ! and super HOT . as in sun shining kinda hot . there were hordes of people at the cck train station . then my friend was like if all these people get off at buona vista , i'm gonna kill myself . then on the way there , saw more girls than guys and i was the gals are gonna outnumber the guys by the ratio 5:1 . then she was like no . more like 10:1 . when reached there , there were like so many people . gazillions k ? then she was like all the happening people will be at acjc today . then we started laughing . then she say all the girls go see guys one la . stuff like that lo . guys very nice meh ? see me nicer . met a lot of people . xw, leeanne and terry came later . hAHA . well ya , saw acs br principal got dunked . or one of the ac principals lo . nt very sure . but hecka fun . left abt 440 . close to 5 . take bus to beauty world . at first planned to go cine . but then felt that go cine in acjc tees very weird so decided to go to beauty world and have a drink then head home . then at the macs there , got some guys keep staring at our ac tees . then amanda was like so many anti-ac people . sickening . then i was like i thought a lot of people want go ac ? then she was got a lot of pro-ac people BUT also a lot of anti-ac one . then talked abt sch . she was telling me about the jealous people in her class cos she gt tops in accnts then they all went boo . others win . they went yay . can understand . similar thing happened . jealous of results la . ya . so ks for wot ? fail will do one good . coming tops in every sub is OH so sickening . but if one has brains cannot blame . comparison is no use lo . oh . and i'm NOT repeat NOT referring to anyone in particular . *smirks* yea . i understand jealousy . hAHA . jealous people can be found in every nook and cranny of earth . she took cab home and i took 67 . then on the bus there was this 2 guys talking . one was ugly , the other nt so bad . better then avg
ugly : i hate ac people .
nsb : u talking abt that one ah ? she don't look 17 le
ugly : think she not in acjc la . so young .
nsb : u go ask her la
ugly : why me ? u go

i was smirking my ass off . give up the ghosts 2 bastards . btw , that's a cliche . anti-ac ugly faint-hearted chicken head baboon .

got off the bus walked up the mountain 1/2way met my mum then she say get in go buy rat cage . so i hopped in and ended up buying more than rat cage . bought groceries . then headed home . stank . felt damn sticky . also very tired . split b/w going to sleep and going to bathe . just finished facial . aft this going to do maths and chem . emaths ct tomorrow and can't be bothered . tired man . get off my back .

.: driving into self-destruction :.

hmm . reached home . ate . slept till 7+ . hmm . realised that i didn't go for training . tomorrow going acjc carnival . meet amanda then go with her . undecided to go holland v eat or eat there . hAHA . wot if the food there damn gross ? i'm bored . should i post one of the artworks i did ?

.: you're just jealous :.

you're a fucking unreasonable bastard . i let u bitched at me for 2 days straight and that's already a lot . i don't even care if u get so fucking depressed and decide to end your life . I DON"T CARE . yest was my turn to bitch and u interrupted . today u called and bitched again . you wanna be a fucking bitch . that right ? if not quit bitching at me . find others k ? if u like bitching so much i suggest u cut off your penis and install a fucking cheebye . u like that don't you ? and i'm NOT repeat NOT referring to anyone in particular .

JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP

man . goddamn pissed at gary . just cos SHE doesn't like him anymore doesn't give him the right to bitch 2 days straight . GOD . grow up pal , love is part and parcel of life . can't stand it then take your own life man . and it ain't my fault . you were the one who liked her k ? and you were the one who asked me to intro k ? get it right . it's your fault not mine . quarrel after quarrel . i need help !

:: i'm going insane ::

.: I hate my mother :.

my mother is a lying fat slut . at first she said she was going to drive to the place . then she say she not very sure , so park at gombak and take mrt . then she changed her mind again ! she said my dad will drop us off there then take mrt home . i/2 way dad's friend called say he at JE so my dad went JE pick up his friend first then my mother said drop us at JE take train down . i was like wth . we'll get there faster if my dad sent us lo . i got a LIL pissed . then she took out my ez-link card and left the rest of my stuff in the car including wax ! i didn't even know.. till we took the train . i felt so naked without my hp and wax and 'wallet' . reached home . she wanted to go buy lock and i was like u go yourself i going home to sleep . when my dad reached home and i woke up , i went down to get my stuff . but only found my wax , couldn't find my hp and carry-all . my daddy and i searched the whole front seat also cannot find . so i went up to ask her

me : where you put my stuff
she: in the compartment
me : wot compartment ? find the whole car still cannot find . you go downstairs find for me
she: go find by yourself
me : i don't even know where it is . how the hell you expect me to find ?
she: in the compartment of the front seat
me : there's so many compartments ! how would i know which . why can't you just go downstairs and tell me exactly where it is and then you can come up to do your stuff right ?
then she slapped me . say i so rude and stuff . i glared at her and slammed the door . then she started shouting again . i went fuck you bitch and went into my room . my dad help me find my stuff . thanks daddy , you're the best unlike some sluttenized bitch . tell me , is the damned whore at fault or me ?

wot a little fickle-minded fuckassing retard .
i'd rather have a mean calculating bitch then a lying sluttenized whore for my mother .


you little fat-faced slut begging for my attention
you're nothing to me
nothing
absolutely nothing
feel my hatred bitch
be afraid
go screaming your head off
no one will bother about you
a puny little life lost in the billions gazillions
cos i'll kill you
with my own bare hands
or
with a borrowed knife
stabbing it into you
wrenching it
the knife in your damned pulsating heart
beats once
twice
and it goes all still
you know why ?
it's becos you're dead
A FUCKING DEAD CORPSE !

i rid society of a motherfucker like you . they ought to give me a plaque of honour and publish this sensational delightful piece of news worldwide . they ought to exalt me and make me ruler of this universe .


:: wallowing in self-denial ::

yeA . i really could do with some help now

i seriously need help

.: City of Sin :.

i'm sorry . i'm really sorry . i didn't mean it that way ! i'm honestly sincerely terribly sorry ! forgiveness is a virtue . forgive me k ? ya . i knw it was my fault and stuff but i don't know wot came over me . posessed ? say you'll forgive me !

training today was not interesting . unc vic think he swim very fast then keep on talking about the paysc people . if he likes them so much , go back to them la . why come here for wot ? waste time only . keep on saying us this not good that not good . i don't want to listen to your 'too slow or cannot make it' crap !poseur .

know wot ? after his damn training i lost 400 grams . uGh . my beloved gravitational pull , don't go ! come back to me ! i hate him . trg today wasn't so tiring , but we had to run 5 rounds around the pool AGAIn .

i am a sinner wallowing in self-denial . i am a skeptical sinner, wary of all .
don't ask me why i said that , just felt like it . after all , we live in a city of SIn . ain't it so so true ?

hAHA . sorry did not blog on fri and sat . fri was too damn fcuking shagged after the damned trg . sat was spent watching the maas after having fun at esplanade . hAHA . started watching from 10 till 1 . 3 hrs ! nt very interesting lo . only liked the part where the black-eyed peas performed . took lotsa pics on v-day . later will upload . days later prob . sorry . got home abt 8+ . started studying at 914 . ended at 1010 . uGh . haven't finished studying . only 1/2way thru geog . then bathe for 40 mins cos bought new lotion and wanted to try out . hAHA . it smells nice .

very pissed at my parents . scolded me for nothing . after they scold me , i went out with tina(it's been almost a year since we went out eh ? march till now . very long alrdy . dear hol friend , must go out with u more during the hols .thanks for rmbing me . i nearly forgotten u . your funniness and all your nonsense . take care . miss you )
she dropped me a msg saying :hey howya..takecare..free call me then we go play k? then i went : ya-sure-how abt now? whr u want go ?i go anywhr gt nice food can alrdy then she was: go taka ? breeks want? then i was: huh-just now go there eat alrdy-but nvm la-go lo-cya there at 715 ? then she was:k..cya..dun b late ah
thanks tintin gal . my parents are so unreasonable lo . got home also never talk to them . but my dad was like don't be so petty . u hungry ? ask suda cook . then i just glare at him and walk off .

still must write some lame english piece . no mood le . just crapshit all over then pass up . hAHA . okyx . really gottA GET MY ASS MOVING ON THE PIECE .

today
hmm . hAHA . check this out . shi hui wrote on her blog :
" v's day is only 2 days away..and i still dun have a date..walao..die la.. "

hAHA . so cute right ? to shihui if u reading: why no date will die ? hAHA . relac la . next year find one earlieer . blog-reading just now . saw so many hilarious stuff . hAHA . realised my blog very boring .
so i shall describe in detail wot happened today . woke up at 625 . went to brush teeth . changed . eat honey stars . got into car . sent my bro first then me then my sis .
okyx . this sux . so damn boring . got funny stuff then i'll elaborate , talk more abt it . hAHA


Feb 08
blogger is down ! crapshit ! i hate this ! damn hell . why ? ahwells . no mood to blog alrdy . btw i'm 'blogging' on my notepad. haPPy belated birthday to xianwei ! hAHA .
happy birthday to u
happy birthday to u
happy birthday to xianwei
happy birthday to u

feb 09
blogger still down . is it really down or does it have something to do with my com ? ohwells . notepad is now my temp haven . hAHA . went training today . damn tiring ! coach is outta his mind ! pressure . did long dist sprints . a lot ! amanda was so damn fast lo . next time we do the 200m sprints , she is given 3min15sec rounds . can and will die ! mine is 3min30sec . not so bad but still can die .

feb 10
okay . this will be a damn quickie blog . firstly , thanks gary . your prez damn 'early' lo . 9-days-late-prez . a first for me . so thanks ! sincerely ! okyx . needa go slp now . tired .

just came back from trg . felt so damn hyper lo . LOL . fly was fun . we did 4 cliq ? (or however u spell it) today ! in other words 4k . actually supposed to do 5 one lo . muscles aching . did nearly 80 pushups can . then 5 rnds around pool . hAHA .
glad i managed to drag my shagged ass to the com . tomorrow gog watch last samurai (NICE!) or PEter pan (ALSO NICE !) also got chi tuition . blog finish will go play then slp .

ahem . plotting to kill sinyee . but have to do eng compo . so crap . kiddish ! now starting to do if there's time , i'll post my death plans . otherwise tml lo .

bored . compo . aft compo . kiddish .
oh and don't ask me why i keep using kiddish . i've no idea either . hAHA .
wells . leeanne asked me go trg earlier . steph wanna prac plunge . okya lo . i also want to . horrid unc vic so kiddish! keep on criticising us . lameass . ahwells . gtg now . still gotta do some 70 words thingy . st one . can't decide whether to write abt fuckbands or my darling blog . btw-i want purple fuckbands !

okyx . quickee blog . have to do compo aft this . reached home at 9+ . today damned tired . cass and rach , ur prez rocks lol . i love the dragon at da back . hAHA . thnks all who gave me prezzies too . sorry i couldn't stay . blame my dad . went great world today . saw vincent ng . the actor . hAHA .damn funny one . cos i was on the downwards escalator and he was upwards , i was facing him and he was facing me then when pass by , i tot he looked quite familiar so i asked leeanne if that person was an actor or smth . then she say yea . then ian go borrow pen and paper want take autograph , smth like tt . he was wearing red with another spiky hair guy also wearing red outside the crystal jade reastaurant . hAHA . lame right ?

okyx . gtg now . hafta do compo .

ahem . thanks raeanne leeanne sis&eddie mum&dad hippo terry jan cass keith matthew gladys yolkwhye eileen huijing&huisi elaine stace sarah lim sarah tay amanda saralynn ray! kelvin nic jess and all the others who wished me happy b'day . thanks guys . BIG THANK YOU ! LOVE YOU PEOPLE! for either b'day wishes or b'day prezzies or b'day wishes and prezzies . sorry ah cass&ppl , couldn't meet u in the aftnoon . meet u guys later . u all clubbing right ? i may not be . fucking broke but if one of u treat ... then of cos i'll stay . hAHA . aft this go bathe then can leave alrdy . hAHA . just got back from turf city . thanks momma n daddy for the lovely meal . hAHa . real full . okyx . gtg now .